Sunday, 31 May 2009
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Two co-dependent addicts[comments disabled- rant]
Have you ever had this urge..
To curl up in a ball and scream??because the inner termiol just wont let up?
Thats how I feel right now.
Basicly the overview of my love/life
I have issues with ED's on and off
relapse and back again, and anxiety and anger issues.
Then this guy, we'll call him, Jeremy,
Jeremy is an alcoholic, smoker and addicted to weed,
he also has sold/bought many forms of other drugs
so basicly just an addict.I care for him so much.
But sometimes I want to tear my hair
out because its so hard to deal with my
ED and try to be there for him with
his addictions.
I care deeply about him and
he's going through a rough time but I
just don't know how to feel sane and mentally
ok. I just wish an anwser would drop from the sky.
Saturday, 30 May 2009
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Can I beg Forgiveness? [Major Updates]
Amanda Carrier for you girls. She is the love of
my hypo-pathetic life. She's a body builder, fitness icon,
model, and mommy. Everyday of the week. She is
5' 5", 130 lbs. I Absolutly adore her. But enough about Amanda.I'd like to beg, beg, beg forgiveness girlies, I havent been
on in like forever. Literaly. I've been really REALLY
bussy. You girls are like family and I've totally neglected
you. Shits been hectic.
Mom and I've been fighting again.
Kaleb and I broke up, the last few weeks were
finals prepration, and I got with this guy
Kaylor, but only sexually. We had a
pregnancy scare, which was only a
scare, thank the skies. I went to our first
football meeting about a week ago. I need
to resign-up for classes. Weight-lifting
re-starts on the 1st for football(and yes I'm going
to be a[n american] football player). I'm
trying to convince my mom to let me attend
the Lutheran Church in town.
And about my diet. So, I know
I should be on a calorie packed diet
to keep myself going. I've been eating 1 meal
a day with occasional snackage. I just
don't have an appitite partailly because I'm
stressed and partially because I just don't want
to eat. I'm taking daily vitamins, and starting on
protien(suppliments), because I don't get much.
I'm trying to be healthier. I kind of want to
get better, but kind of don't still. So,
I figured I'll take small steps,
I excersize 4 times a week, so it
makes eating easier to justify, also church
potlucks and what not help. But I'm
just taking it in strides, trying
to detach emotions from food, only
eating when hungry, staying VERY active
and who knows, maybe my ED will go
away just like it came in, semi-undetected.How are you girls doing?
I'll read your blogs, comment, and
message more. I'm becoming a total
health guru, so if you have any health questions
be sure to ask. i can't bare to be on much
longer, the screan is giving me a headache,
but I'll contact as many of yall as I can
alittle laters.
!! Stay Strong, Never Give Up <3
<3 Dream Big !!
Sunday, 05 April 2009
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I don't know what I'll do if I'm not preg
Disclaimer...
I know teen pregnancy is bad, but me and his dad are together & he's
going into the military. Our finances are fine. My parents insurance covers and
will support me. & since its been a possibility I have been eating well & balanced
as to not hurt the baby. I don't believe in abortion, and I don't like
the idea of my baby being property of DHS if I can prevent
As weird as it may sound, I don't know
what i'll do if I'm not pregnant.
Tomorrow doctors will consider me 3 weeks
along. When in all actuality it would only be 1 week
since conception.
Basically, this is whats up.
Kaleb and I had unprotected
sex on 03/30 & 04/01. If you've ever needed
it and couldn't wait- yeah. And I don't feel
bad for it, however I feel irresponsible for not
bringing a condom. & I can't take Birth Control
because I get really sick/anemic/depressed/moody
when I'm on birth control.
But yeah. I started eating normal, but
extremely healthy, cut back on caffeine, and
taking care of myself just in case.
I feel like ~~~ idk.
~ I know I'm not ready for this.
~ I know it'll be hard.
~ I know I'll have to get my GED.
~ I know Kaleb doesn't want a kid yet.
And on the other hand ~~
~ I've gotten used to the concept
of a baby growing inside me
~ I've done tons of research
~ I know what I'll have to do and accept it.
~ I love the baby inside of me.
~ I have a name picked out.[by accident
{Jeramiah Anthony Littau}]
~ I'll have to get on track real quick if I'm not.
~ There's a local restaurant I can work at.Idk~ I just don't know what to think.
My period should be on the 17th, the day before
prom. So, I'll go into prom being sad that I'm
not prego, or I'll go into prom saying, "Its
okay Kaleb, my period will come soon."
He's more devastated than I am... and really
up~to~date. He's really nervous..
I just want this to be..
I've miscarried twice... so
if I'm prego and I carry full term.. it
means I'm not infertile.
Sorry. Pour my heart out.
P.s. it.
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- Name: AnaMia
- Birthday: 12/14/1993
- Gender: Female
- Member Since: 8/9/2008
About Me
-
Yeah, I'm just a fun lovein chick. Call me emo, goth, punk, girly. What ever, labels arnt my thing. I love thetre and speach class. I'm not very competitive but I like to Play hokey. And I'm not straight, I like chicks too. So if you got an isssue w/ it, thats an issue of your own. And otherwise, just ask
