Saturday, 30 May 2009

• Can I beg Forgiveness? [Major Updates]

  

  Amanda Carrier for you girls. She is the love of
  my hypo-pathetic life. She's a body builder, fitness icon,
  model, and mommy. Everyday of the week. She is
  5' 5", 130 lbs. I Absolutly adore her. But enough about Amanda.

  I'd like to beg, beg, beg forgiveness girlies, I havent been
  on in like forever. Literaly. I've been really REALLY
  bussy. You girls are like family and I've totally neglected
  you. Shits been hectic.
  Mom and I've been fighting again.
  Kaleb and I broke up, the last few weeks were
  finals prepration, and I got with this guy
  Kaylor, but only sexually. We had a
  pregnancy scare, which was only a
  scare, thank the skies. I went to our first
  football meeting about a week ago. I need
  to resign-up for classes. Weight-lifting
  re-starts on the 1st for football(and yes I'm going
  to be a[n american] football player). I'm
  trying to convince my mom to let me attend
  the Lutheran Church in town.
  
  And about my diet. So, I know
  I should be on a calorie packed diet
  to keep myself going. I've been eating 1 meal
  a day with occasional snackage. I just
  don't have an appitite partailly because I'm
  stressed and partially because I just don't want
  to eat. I'm taking daily vitamins, and starting on
  protien(suppliments), because I don't get much.
  I'm trying to be healthier. I kind of want to
  get better, but kind of don't still. So,
  I figured I'll take small steps,
  I excersize 4 times a week, so it
  makes eating easier to justify, also church
  potlucks and what not help. But I'm
  just taking it in strides, trying
  to detach emotions from food, only
  eating when hungry, staying VERY active
  and who knows, maybe my ED will go
  away just like it came in, semi-undetected.

  How are you girls doing?
  I'll read your blogs, comment, and
  message more. I'm becoming a total
  health guru, so if you have any health questions
  be sure to ask. i can't bare to be on much
  longer, the screan is giving me a headache,
  but I'll contact as many of yall as I can
  alittle laters.
  
  !! Stay Strong, Never Give Up <3
  <3 Dream Big !!

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